don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
