One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
