I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
