its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
