just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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