Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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