is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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