So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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