she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize