There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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