Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
