I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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