When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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