dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
