I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
