Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
