I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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