I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
