I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
