btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
