i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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