Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
