Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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