how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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