we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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