census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wish you could order shots online.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
