Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
