Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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