Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
