I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
