Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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