There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
