HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
