I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
