It's Friday. Sex?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Mom said you looked used
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
