It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
