let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
