But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
