I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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