Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
