I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
