I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
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I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP