is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.