Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
