I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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