she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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