so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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