I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
