Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
