Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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