i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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