No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
