Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.