no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
