My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
