i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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