Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
