it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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