So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
