Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
